Online dating is the most popular ever. And the numbers bear this out. I often hear people ask "What online BBW dating website or app did you meet on?" rather than "How did you meet your new partner?"
A survey conducted by psychologists at Stanford University and the University of New Mexico showed that. Almost 35 percent of couples said they met online, while 20 percent said they met through friends.
Despite this, most singles don't come to me as a online dating coach. They would love to go on three online dates a week for 52 weeks. But I was told they had already tried online dating or dating apps. And had a bad dating experience or felt it just didn't work for them.
I'm here to tell you that online dating is a grind, but you'll get through it. I promise. Here are some reasons why online dating might be frustrating for you. I've also included some ways and strategies you can change your mindset. This can help you fall into the arms of someone special.
The problem: too much work
I get it. You have a busy work schedule, logging in, swiping right…And trying to decipher if an online match is worth dating can be exhausting and feel like a chore.
Solution #1: The bottom line is that you don't stop looking for a job after three failed interviews, and you shouldn't give up on online dating after three messages that don't lead to a date. Being organized and focused on your dream date or dream dating partner does take work, but it's worth it.
The problem: you're not finding good matches
As good as the dating site's algorithm is, it's data in and data out. If you're disappointed with the quality of your matches, it's time to review your settings.
Solution #2: Broaden your search criteria to create a broader dating network. I recommend increasing your search from 10 miles to 50 miles. The reason for this is that people will travel for love, move for love, and even give up their throne for love.
Limiting your search will lead to an empty dating card, and that is not the goal of online dating. I suggest taking it a step further and stopping looking for men who are 6 feet tall or women who look like models. You can't tell how tall a person is when they are sitting across from you on a date, and appearances can fade. Don't just focus on physical features, take a leap of faith.
The problem: no one writes back to you
You log in twice a day and make sure your make friends app is open during peak hours in the evening, and you always write some witty messages. However, just like the Beatles song, you get "no-reply". Solution #3: Keep your first message short and limit it to four sentences plus a question. Adding a question about what you see in their profile shows that you are serious about the process and take the time to go through the photos.
I often suggest creating a pop quiz, for example, if you post a photo with a celebrity in it and ask people if they can identify who is in a particular photo, or ask them to guess the location of your travel location.
This is also a foolproof way to get responses, as people like to give you the impression of being clever by knowing the answer. And, if they ask what they can get for answering a bonus question correctly, the best answer is "You can date me!"
Problem: Matches are chatting but not willing to meet in real life
Some people get a high social media experience chatting with others on dating apps, but when it comes to setting up dates, their schedules are booked. Then you end up as digital pen pals.
Solution #4: Weed out those who aren't moving the process forward and scheduling or accepting dates. Maybe they are too busy with work, are taking turns with other people, or just like the ego boost of having more than one person to talk to.
If someone can't stick to scheduling and keeping appointments, they're not right for you. However, if you think you've found someone who might resonate with you, suggest two dates and two different locations to see if one is on the calendar. If not, keep looking for people who are excited about meeting you.
